I wasn't really sure what to write this week. I suppose it's because I feel like my life has been floundering. It's the middle of the semester, I have around three different projects due this week and it's midterm and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do to volunteer this summer with middle school students and I'm helping with little facets of my brother's wedding. So it's sufficient to say I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.
I wish I could hide in a corner and...well not cry, that's too easy and crying just makes me feel like a perpetuating feminine stereotype. I already have enough occasions to hate my uterus, I don't need more. Additionally, I don't feel the catharsis from crying that others seem to. When I'm upset aside from getting frustrated about the fact that I'm upset and then frustrated about the thins making me upset (I've become a pro at that) I pray about it and then I release my anger by listening to music and writing and laughing, or sometimes I play video games where I can shoot something. Videos on YouTube are my saving grace for laughter. I could watch funny YouTube videos until my ribs hurt from laughing so hard. Bloopers from my favorite TV shows and movies are particularly effective for this. YouTube is also where I find new music that I like...that and the newest music mix at Starbucks.
I am in a fiction writing class. Yeah, me writing, who saw that coming? I like to write and while that is a very big part of the class, an even bigger part of it is reading the writings of others and then critiquing it. I think it's interesting to read the writings of others because in its own way it gives you a glimpse into their mind. It makes me curious sometimes what people think when they read what I write (if they read what I write). What impression do I give people? Do they think I'm clever or witty, do they simply write me off as just another writer on here with a series of ramblings? In all likelihood, they probably think I'm nuts. They'd be right, but I came to terms with my lack of sanity a long time ago.
I find the UT campus itself to be a fascinating creature and that's what it seems to be to me, UTK very much feels like a live being to me. This is particularly true at night. I like walking around at night. I am quite fond of the evening. I am a night owl hard core. If I could get away with staying up all night and sleeping all day, I totally would. UTK has a life of its own, it truly does. This mood is not surprisingly affected by the weather. It is particularly unhappy when it is cold, which leads me to think it is a girl...or a cat.
I think by my next blog I'll be able to do more than ramble. At least I hope so. Maybe I'll write one of those super clever and catchy blogs that are kind of funny while pointing out a very obvious flaw in our culture or campus. Maybe, but then again maybe not. Who knows? I certainly don't. All I can promise is that for better or worse, I will be back. Sooner than later I hope.
-Alicia
PS: For those of you who are curious about the title. It's an allusion to the fact I don't like chocolate. That's right, I am less of a woman for admitting that. I don't care. I don't like it, not by itself. I'll eat the heck out of a Twix and brownies are tasty, but just regular chocolate, chocolate kisses, chocolate covered fruit, almost every candy bar besides Twix (I don't know what it is, Twix is magical I guess, the brownies (on the other hand) are not, I simply do.
- I don't like you chocolate. Not even platonically.
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