How a Room Full of Nerds Made My Heart Feel Home

There are certain situations, certain places, certain people that make you sigh, "My heart is home again." The family reunion I recently attended was definitely one of those. However, one of these situations came in a way that I did not expect remotely. Thursday night was the midnight premier of "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World" a movie that is based off of a graphic novel series, the sixth and final of which just came out. (You sneaky and clever publicists!) A while back upon viewing a trailer I got excited about this movie. It combined some of my favorite things to watch; graphic novels, fight scenes, video games and nerdy boys. So Tim found the graphic novels and I started looking at what all the hype was about. These graphic novels were clever, they were funny, they were well written. A fellow nerd that I met in Poetry class last semester put together an event: let us gather and watch this movie at midnight.

Through a strange turn of fortunate events, I was able to get hold of tickets to an exclusive pre-screening. So, rushing to finish the newly purchased final book, I met my friend Matty Iden and his brother, surprising my brother with a ticket and we saw the movie...which is awesome by the way. I felt like a bit of a traitor seeing it before the person who had set up the entire get together, but I only had one extra ticket. Seeing the movie only made me more excited for the premier, after all, the tickets I had got for the pre-screening were handed out as a promotion. The midnight showing was for the people who wanted to be there, the people who wanted to see this movie first because they were so excited about it. Then it would be fun, then it would be people who would get the jokes that I was getting and laughing seemingly alone at. So that night after closing, I decided to dress up as a character. The outfit was simple and luckily something I had, after a bit more makeup and some colored hair spray, there I had it. Driving with a smile in my face and a rather disdainful brother in tow, we headed for the meeting place. When I arrived I was welcomed...by the one person at the large table that I actually knew.

Pulling up a chair, I was quickly introduced, including to a girl who, like me, had dressed up as a character. This instantly put me at ease and as conversations buzzed all around me, I found that it was so easy for me to join in. "2011 is going to be a disappointing year in movies? Well the Deadpool movie is coming out." Look of surprise, "You know who Deadpool is?" I can't help but smile as we talk about movies, comic books, anime and a variety of anime and comic books that are being turned into movies and exactly how we felt about it. It was strange for me to be so comfortable around people I had never met before. Despite my typically outgoing nature, I am by nature quite shy. Yet here I was talking to strangers, better yet, guys without a hint of a stutter. It was a strange comfort that I was not used to, but it brought a smile to my face. The theater was quiet when we got there, and getting our seats, more and more people piled in. Then something beautiful happened.

The room was abuzz with laughter and smiles. There were so many groups but people from one group knew the people from another group. I myself knew 5 people who were not a part of the group I came with, which in a theater that size and in a town I don't live in is uncanny. There were shouts of recognition all over and there was even another girl who was 'cosplaying' like myself and the girl who came as Roxie. Yet, despite my slightly strange appearance, I was not stared at like a freak (like the other times I have been to midnight premiers, which I have almost always dressed up for) I was smiled at and given a knowing nod, even winked at...by guys. Oh yeah. There was an overwhelming camaraderie and as the trailers were about to start I leaned in to my friend Jonathon, "I am amongst my own people." He smiled, "It's a good feeling, isn't it?" The trailers started and a thriller came on, a movie that seemed halfway decent until it stated, "From the mind of M. NIGHT SHYMALAN". The echo of boos was not only amusing but unanimous. "Give us back Avatar!" one particular patron shouted. The theater erupted in laughter. Then as the movie itself started, the Universal theme in 8 bit animation, complete with theme music, the whole theater erupted into cheers. I smiled until it hurt. Then Jonathon leaned into me, and what he said struck a chord with me so strong that it inspired this entire blog. "There is SO much love in this room," he said to me. I gasped in the darkness at the sheer truth of it.

Jonathon Hash was right. I looked around in the glimmering light of the screen and it was true. We were all nerds or significant others of nerds. We had that one underlying factor. We were the unpopular kids who at some point had been made fun of at school. We were the weird ones who went to conventions and dressed up as our favorite characters, who knew more about the Marvel and DC universe than how to be in a social situation without being awkward. As we looked at each other, laughing at the same parts, it was understood. As cheesy as it was, this was a safe place, we were among friends, people who understood. Our hearts were home here.

The movie was awesome...again. It really was so much better with people who actually got the jokes. As the credits rolled, there was applause and joyful laughter. Our group (who stayed until after the credits) came out of the theater with smiles on our faces. The ladies who had dressed up with me were gathered and pictures ensued. It was a strange thing to have a large group of people in front of you taking pictures. It is likely one of the closest things I will feel to being famous. Johnathan came in with us and had his friends take pictures. "What's taking so long?" "Well Jonathon, I'm sending you the picture I just took of them and it's taking a long time, see?" The phone was flipped to show a 'sending' bar moving like a snail. "You see how long it's taking, you see it?" We chuckled. "Besides," the picture taker, Aaron continued, "you're surrounded by three hot chicks, I don't know what you're complaining about." Every member of the picture blushed. "All right, get out of the picture, I took yours," another picture, "this is so going to be the background for my phone." I giggled, I was in a picture that was a background on a cute guy's phone.

I walked out of that theater with an inexplicable feeling of joy. I couldn't remember the last time feeling like that around people that weren't my family. Not at work, not at school, not at places where that should be precisely the way I feel. Thursday night was such a beautiful picture of Heaven for me. My heart felt at home and it thrilled me in a way that is hard for a person of my verbosity to explain. I know that there were hearts there that felt the exact same way. "There is SO much love in this room," he had leaned over and said to me.

Reunion of Hearts

This past month I went on a vacation, yes me, I went on a vacation. I went to a family reunion which happened to coincide with my gradparents' 50th anniversary. Fifty years together, the very thought boggles my mind, but it is so beautiful to me. It is very encouraging as well. I know people my age who have already been married and divorced and these two people have been together twice as long as I've been alive.

This trip to Colorado was by far my favorite. It just felt...different. I think it is due, in part, that I have finally forgiven myself. The time that I spent with my family in the mountains is something that I will treasure for a long time.It was wonderful to see my cousins who have grown so much since I saw them last and it was nice to know, that I too have grown...ok, perhaps not physically, but in some ways. The Rocky Mountains have always been a sort of soul solace to me I think. They are comforting to me in a way I can't describe. Mix that with people that I love deeply and it was a very wonderful situation. We laughed together, we played games and we celebrated being a family. It was something I needed more than I realized. I feel continually distanced from the people in my life, usually by my own doing. I need more affection than I know, more perhaps than I can admit to myself. So to span that distance and connect with people whom I love so much, it was a blessing I can't exactly put into words.